Last week I read an interesting post on growing up: http://apracticalwedding.com/2011/11/reclaiming-wife-on-goals-growing-up/. There was a lot of truth in the post
- the lost feeling of having no goals- ” For me, the darkest, scariest times in my adulthood have been when I had no idea what I wanted, not when I had no idea how to get what I wanted.”
- the idea of marriage as a catalyst for creating the life you want- “… choosing a life together made me serious about consciously choosing, well, a life.”
- Why marriage serves as a place to have a conversation for growing up- “…you can be a grown up without being married, but you can’t be married without being a grown up”; “And recently commenter Edelweiss emailed me and said, ‘read an archived post yesterday because one of you brilliantly connected it to one of the grad posts. Being lazy, I tried searching for the words ‘growing up.’ I got a bijillion results. I’m sure you’ve all already realized you’re really talking about growing up here through the common ritual that marks adulthood. But it was the first time I realized concretely that people love the Reclaiming Wife posts and Meg’s personal updates and the comment threads not just because it relates to being a healthy partner in a marriage, but because our generation doesn’t have a cultural script to follow for all the periods of life where we are expected to redefine ourselves.’”
The post also described how Meg (the blog writer at A Practical Wedding) read a blog during her 20s of a person 5-years older than herself as a way to have a role model for figuring out what she wanted in life, which was how she discovered Mondo Beyondo and Life Lists (to do lists with wild crazy dreams that you think aren’t possible but that you make happen.) I realized that was why I’ve always read blogs. A lot of the time I read blogs of people whose lives are completely different from my own( people I don’t necessarily know in real life) as a way to consider their life choices and values and to make sure I’m thinking about mine.
I also realized that for me, before I read blogs for a framework to think about my life choices, that I did it with books. Specifically my life role model has always been Anne (Shirley) Blythe from L.M. Montgomery’s Anne Series (there’s seven books starting with Anne of Green Gables, I’ve read them all multiple time.) My ideas about friendship, education, dating, college, marriage and parenthood have all been influenced by reading about Anne’s life and choices.
Did you have a role model growing up in real life or in books? Do you have one now?