Preface:  For awhile now I’ve wondering about how to support other people’s dreams. I’m not even sure if there is a univerval answer, so by writing my thoughts down I hope to get the pondering out of my system, rather than a nice neat answer.

Context: In mainstream culture you hear a lot about how people’s dreams are often discouraged.  A young student is told they are not an artist.  On talent tv shows young dancers and singers talk about how their parents didn’t support them or told them to focus on something else. A teacher tells a student “I’d expect that from an honor student, but not from you.”  A patient talks about how no one expected them to recover and the doctors said they would never ______ again.

Those type of narratives always made me mad, ‘how dare an authority figure tell them to give up on a dream!’  

Therefore, when people told me things they wanted to accomplish I frequently tried to help them with information I ran across. (Obnoxiously so, perhaps.)

New thought:  Recently, I started wondering if ‘the struggle’ was necessary to get the tenacity to complete a project.  If, by having to overcome doubters a person was able to develop the self-belief, self-advocacy skills amd will power to see the goal through to the end.

Even is some cases people weren’t doubted, but that’s the narrative they remember.

I even started wondering if by being unconditionally positive and supportive you could hold someone back because you handed them information instead of letting them find it themselves.

Continued Problem: how to support someone with dreams?


One thought on “Adversity

  1. Is the dream Biblical? Seriously. If a person just wants to be a rock star for their own fame, fortune and babes, that isn’t necessarily a dream that should be supported. Many such peoples have ended up dead broke, anonymously in the gutter, with STD’s and other horrors. However, if they want to be the very best guitarist on the planet, for the sake of pursuing something they luv, blessing God, and benefiting other people at the same time (incl the elderly and infirm), that would be worth supporting. True story: A man much-accomplished in his music unfortunately did not become accomplished enuf, but only a back-up person and very small-time local celeb. In the meantime, he led the party life with the celebs he backed up, went thru multiple marriages, developed health problems, and is regularly broke. One of his young students, while having a desire to take his music to bigger places, ended up playing mostly in church venues. The older man was very glad, and said THAT is the way to go–don’t do it like I did, pursuing fame, fortune and babes with your music, but stick with the church and using your music as a passion, but also a blessing to others. You’ll be much more “successful.”

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